Scandinavian Bob here hi,

Some people are wondering about the flatline, you know, having heard a lot of horror stories about it and they wonder, is it even possible to be happy during flatline after quitting porn?

So, let's take a closer look...

Flatline after giving up porn - Is it possible to be happy during the flaltine?

Well, the short answer is, yes it is. 

It is true that during a flatline your mood also drops, and let’s just say for example that your flatline lasts for 6 weeks.

Well, during those 6 weeks then, yes, you will have a lower baseline level of happiness in general. But that doesn't mean that there can’t be some better days here and there as well, just like it can in pretty much any rough period in life.

Don't strive for happiness...

Now, as a general advice, I don’t think we should really strive for having happiness as a goal and I’ll tell you why in a moment, but before I do, check these words out. 

Confidence -   Motivation -  Happiness

Ok, so these are all positive words.

These are things we all want to have right, but I don’t think we should strive for them.

And so now you say, "But if we all want those things, why not strive for them? What the hell is wrong with you Bob?"

Well, once can wonder, but listen up here... 

Confidence is a luxury but courage is a must have...

Confidence is a luxury that you don’t really need.

Now, it is nice to have and it’s not like I’m against having it, but what you really need instead is courage. 

Think about it...

...If you are going to go out of your comfort zone, for example, and it feels really scary, you don’t need confidence, but you do need courage. 

Sure it would have been nice to have confidence as well, but again, courage is more important as you can get it done with just courage and here’s the thing though, more often than not, confidence follows as a reward after you have done something. 

Now what about motivation?

Well, it’s also a luxury, again, it is something that is very nice to have as it really helps you get up and do stuff. But let’s face it, you will not always be motivated so you can not rely on it.

What you really need is discipline and determination. and guess what?

Here too you often get the reward after your work because, as you start to see more and more results, you also get more motivated to continue.

By the way, this is also how you find your purpose in life when you don’t really know what your purpose is.

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Finding your purpose in life...

You just start doing different things in your areas of interest.

You decide to become good at some of them and then after a while you notice, nah, this is not really what I want.

While in another area you suddenly start realizing that, "Hey man, this is what I want to be doing."

Ok, and so what about happiness?

Some self help stuff out there like to shout out that our main goal in life should be happiness.

Well this is not the best way to go about it.

Now, again, it’s not like I’m against happiness but you see, when it comes to something as abstract as feelings, the universe has a strange way of not really wanting to give you them if you start chasing them head on.

The universe operates in a mysterious way...

It tends to work much better if you go at it at an angle, and then you sometimes get your desired feeling almost like a byproduct.

So, instead of striving for happiness, it is better to have “meaning” as a goal instead, because, well just think about it..

…What if you are chasing happiness and you are going through a very rough period of time? Then you just notice that it is so far away right now and that makes it even harder for you to keep going. 

It is like Jordan Peterson says, “Happiness is something that is Done in by the first harsh blow reality deals you.”

Go for meaning instead...

Now, what if you found meaning instead, well there’s something that will help you get out of bed when things are hard, because you then feel like it is your mission to keep working on it.

And you can keep doing that, not really caring about if it feels fantastic or not, and guess what?...

That way happiness will also descend upon you from time to time as a byproduct of doing something else.  

Let go of the strongest desire for a specific outcome...

In fact, the irony here is that just like with the two other two words on the screen here, in some strange way, you also tend to get rewarded with happiness more often if you don’t strive for it. 

And then when the happiness descends upon you, yeah man, enjoy it, enjoy the hell out of it.

So, instead of sitting around trying to wait for confidence in order to be able to do anything, go for courage instead and act now.

Instead of waiting for motivation to get stuff done, go for discipline and get them done now. 

And instead of chasing happiness, go for meaning or strong purpose instead and keep working on that.

This, my friends, is also the absolute best way to make it through a nasty flatline.

Alright, this is Scandinavian Bob signing out for today.

Thanks for reading the post, "Flatline after quitting porn, can you even be happy then?"

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