Note: links to what I'm talking about in the end of the video can be found further down in the text...

So you can't stop relapsing to porn, huh?

And you have tried pretty much everything.

Well, let's talk about it...

I Can't Stop Relapsing To Porn

Scandinavian Bob here, hi!

Some people like to say that addictions happen because the person is trying to escape some demons they have from some past trauma or that they otherwise have some issues in their lives they need to deal with.

Well I’m here to tell you that, yes, in a lot of cases that’s really the case, but saying that’s the case for everyone is simply wrong.

Why?

There are different resons people get addicted to porn...

Well, because a lot of guys just grow up being curious and want to look at girls, and then it just happens to be that today’s online porn is so incredibly stimulating and dopamine driven that guys can become hooked on it. Simple as that. 

But again, there are indeed a lot of people who need to also take a deep look at their lives and try to figure out what’s wrong in order to be able to successfully quit pmo.

So, how do you know if this is you? 

For a lot of guys porn is an escape mechanism...

Well, unfortunately there’s no way to instantly know, and it can be a bit tricky to find out.

But one clue is, if you really do your best, I mean if you’re really serious in wanting to quit, and you have been trying for years.

How to tell if you're escaping into porn because some issues in your life...

You do all the tips and tricks I share with you, you really want it, you do seemingly everything right, but you still keep relapsing to porn.

Well, then there might be some things going in your life that you need to solve.

I’m not saying there is, but it might.

And what I recommend for you guys is actually not my own 1 on 1 coaching but that you go see a professional. 

What need are you trying to fulfill with your porn use...

Perhaps you have some local therapist in your area that is very proficient in human needs and behaviors. This is because it might take some digging in order for them to figure out what’s going on.

But, sure, I could give you something right now that you might find helpful.

These are Tony Robbins' 6 human needs...

• Certainty / comfort
• Uncertainty / variety 
• Significance
• Love/connection
• Growth 
• Contribution
  

Now, please stay with me here because this might give you a serious aha moment.

We all develop different ways of meeting those needs....

These are emotional needs that every single one of us have. But here’s the thing, we all develop different vehicles meeting those needs.

And so now you say, "Ok great, but what do you mean by vehicle?"

Well, a vehicle in this case is simply anything you use to meet that need.

Comfort...

We all have a need for certainty or comfort. 

For example, you need to know that you will have a roof over your head, food on the table and be comfortable in life.

Variety...

But if we only have certainty, we get bored. So everyone also needs a bit of uncertainty or variety in life. It is really a need.

Significance...

And we all need some form of significance.

We need to be able to feel that there is something to our name. 

Some people try to meet this need by becoming the best athlete, a phenomenal singer. Someone who can feel that he is important in some way. 

Perhaps the CEO of a company or the best basketball player in your little town.

Now, when I said that we all choose different vehicles to meet our needs, here’s an example of a destructive way.

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Bad ways and good ways of meeting a need...

Imagine a young man who has been pretty much ignored his whole life, no one knows him and he feels like he is invisible. 

One day out of desperation he pulls a gun on someone walking on the street and robs him. So what does that do? 

Well, it’s instant significance because during that moment he becomes the most important person as it is literally impossible to ignore him right then.

He’s temporarily meeting that need, but in a very destructive way. 

Here’s a better way.

An example of a better way...

An old man is feeling alone and without a mission.

Then one day he got himself a little puppy and what do you know, there is a vehicle to significance because to that little puppy the man is the most important person in the world. Because without him, the puppy wouldn't make it.

A much healthier way than the gun example right.

Love and connection...

Then everyone of us also needs love and connection. And we need to be able to feel that we grow as a person. And we need to feel that we are contributing with something, either in our family, or local area or town or whatever.

Porn can be a vehicle for trying to meet several needs at once, a bad vehicle, but still...

Now, the problem with using porn is that they can be used as a vehicle to try to meet several of those needs.

And if you notice that, then your mission is then to try to find a more healthy way to meet those needs instead of adult sites. 

The most common one with PMO addition is of course deep longing for connection and love.

I think everyone can understand why. It’s just that it’s a bad vehicle because it only works in the moment and then after you're done, it’s even worse.

High status plus connection...

But if you lack significance in life, then even that can be met as your reptilian brain doesn’t know that all those hot babes are on the screen only - and it thinks that, since you’re having a whole harem there, you must be some kind of super high status man. 

Maybe even a king or something, as some kings and high leaders had harems back in the days (and some still do).

More comfort...

Porn can of course also meet the need of certainty and comfort.

If you lack it in other ways you could try to escape into the world of adult sites because it’s so comfortable at the moment.

More variety...

Or if you have a wife or a girlfriend, and you lack variety in life, then with adult sites you get to choose all kinds of different women and it excites you. 

Well, maybe so, but you’d be much better off trying to find some other healthy way to find variety in your life.

It doesn’t have to be variety with partners, which by the way, now you know why some many people cheat, no a vehicle for variety can just as well be for example changing your job. Instant variety right there.

Or going on a vacation 2 times a year and experiencing something new or whatever.

If you tried everything but still keep relapsing to porn - figure out what need you're trying to meet....

So again, if you know you have been trying everything and you still keep relapsing.Try to figure out what need you are trying to fill with your PMO use and then find other, more healthy ways of doing so.

And oh hey guys, this is something that you’ll get to explore more in the dopamine discipline course that I’ve been talking about from time to time. 

The Dopamine Discipline online course for quitting porn...

You can read full reviews of that course here...

• Dopamine Discipline review
• Best Online course for quitting porn - HCT Method Review
• A Good online course for quitting porn addiction

This is a course created by a licensed therapist and by using a new revolutionary HCT method, which stands for habit construction therapy, it uses psychology to help you pinpoint your problems and deeper needs in combination with actionable steps for you to take in a more concrete way that makes it incredibly effective.

Now, the online course itself is 100% discreet and no one of your personal friends will ever know, but when signing up for the course you also get accountability partners. 

Your own support group...

That’s right, your own group of 3-4 people with your own chat room and for people that have been struggling with relapses for a long time, that is actually one of the most valuable things when it comes to overcoming an addiction. 

Listen there’s even a saying that goes: addiction thrives in secrecy, and with your accountability group, you don’t have to be alone and your addiction can’t thrive any longer. 

And in addition to all of this, you get to have live calls with the therapist every now and then with no additional extra costs and of course this will be of immense value as well.

I have literally seen guys who have been addicted for decades overcome their addiction in just a few days after signing up for this course.

So if you’re sick and tired of struggling then find full reviews here...

• Dopamine Discipline review
• Best Online course for quitting porn - HCT Method Review
• A Good online course for quitting porn addiction

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