PMO Recovery Tips (This is a Trap)
If you’ve been following PMO recovery YouTubers for a while you have probably come across the advice that if you happen to relapse you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it.
At least if you’ve been following smart reboot coaches because that advice is actually the correct one and I myself agree with that.
Nothing gets better by beating ourselves up.
And no, that does not help you stay away from relapses further down the line.
It's surface level advice
However, there is a bit of a paradox here as well.
The advice don’t beat yourself up about it is correct, but it’s also very easy to give. So, what do I mean by this?
Well, what I mean is that it's just surface level advice, not taking into account what happens beneath. And I’m guilty of giving that advice too so I’m not pointing fingers.
Check this out...
If we did something that was really bad for us, and something we know we shouldn’t have done. Then we are automatically going to get attacked by a lot of negative thoughts and those thoughts are going to criticize us.
If we then go: "Oh, wait a minute, what did the reboot coaches say now, I shouldn’t be hard on myself…ok, so, go away now negative thoughts, go away go away!!!."
What you resist persists!
If you do that, then that won’t work, because, well, you have probably heard the old saying,
"What you resist persists."
That old saying is 100% true and it’s actually backed by science as well.
Whenever you try to push away your thoughts they will only become more and more stubborn.
So that’s the first problem with the surface level advice.
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However - there's always some truth in negative thoughts as well...
The second problem is that oftentimes, even though negative thoughts are nasty, there is almost always at least some truth buried inside of them somewhere.
And if we don’t listen to them we might miss some actual nuggets of gold.
So we need a way, to...
- Not let us get beaten down by the negativity
- Yet not try to push it the thoughts away (because if we do, they just get stronger)
- Separate the wheat from the chaff
And one way of doing all those three things at once is to use a phrase that I learned from Ross Jeffries, a skillful NLP expert who uses the following phrase…
"Thank you beautiful beloved thoughts.Thank you for coming up with the intent of being my teachers and my guide. I extract any and all useful information from you. And I release you now with love."
The puzzle pieces fall into place...
Now, that phrase might sound a little strange, but if you think about it, what you are doing there is not resisting, which is good, because that doesn’t work, while you at the same time check if there are any gold nuggets there that you can learn something from.
Yeah so a short one today, but I really wanted to share this, because I know from experience that resisting something never works in the long run.
Instead we have to listen or surf it and then just let it go.
And once you learn the art of surfing and letting go, you can use that from almost any negative emotions and thoughts you struggle with in life.
It is really a very powerful tool.
-Scandinavian Bob-
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