Porn Reboot Relapse (Two Different Types Of PMO Relapses)
Looking for info on porn reboot relapses?
Well you're in the right place.
There are many kinds of PMO reboot relapses, but today we are going to talk about two of them with the main focus on the second one, which is a nasty one that tends to happen more when you are a bit further into your reboot.
Typically somewhere between the days 15 - 40.
So if you want to master the art of rebooting, make sure to stay with me to the end here…
The porn reboot relapse and the autopilot mode...
The first kind of relapse is very common and it happens because of conditioning and your brain going into so-called autopilot mode.
In order to understand this, take a look at this habit loop here (see video).
First you have...
- A cue or a trigger
- Followed by a craving (a prediction of how good it would feel to act out)
- Followed by a response (this is you relapsing, man)
- Followed by a reward (orgasm)
Now this circle on the screen is your addiction.
A porn relapsing 'software'
This is the software your computer in your head is running whenever you relapse.
It starts with a trigger or a cue (they both mean the same thing), and this can be pretty much anything that reminds your addicted brain about online porn.
It can for example be a YouTube thumbnail of a hot girl, an Instagram fitness model or it could be a feeling, like for example loneliness.
Or it could even be a certain time of the day, like coming home from work at 5:30PM and sitting down at your computer.
The key thing is that the trigger is what starts your whole relapse routine.
The trigger activates the PMO relapsing software...
Right at that moment when exposed to the trigger, the next step happens, which is “you get hit by a craving”.
Now, it would sound kind of stupid trying to put the craving into words, because the craving is actually not really logical thoughts. It’s more of a feeling you’re having, but it would sound something like...
...“Uhhh.. it would be so nice to check out some hot asses...uuhh, oh man!”.
After that, the response follows, and this is of course you acting out, watching online adult entertainment and doing your "thing".
Followed by the reward, which is of course busting a nut.
This happens automatically, as soon as the trigger starts the loop your brain goes on autopilot, and I really do mean that because this is exactly what is happening.
You have conditioned your brain to have a porn relapse...
This is because you have been programming your brain, literally thousands of times...
- Trigger => acting out
- Trigger => acting out
- Trigger => acting out
So now you have this porn relapsing software in your head, that runs itself...
...on autopilot.
It takes no energy at all and it just happens. In fact, what takes a lot of energy is to try to stop the loop with willpower.
The relapse loop is very strong...
It is actually so that this whole relapse loop is so strong that, well, let me ask you this...
Have you ever said this to yourself, "Man I’m so motivated right now, I WILL make it to 90 days!" ?
Perhaps you even wrote something in a forum on how you are going to be strong, and perhaps you pictured yourself all the benefits you will experience if you keep going. B
ut then later that day, while sitting in front of your laptop, you get hit by a trigger on some social media and than BAM, your relapsed, and after the relapse you go...
..."What the hell just happened, how could I? I was so motivated and not only that, I felt so strong...how is this possible"
Well, that my friend, is because of the relapse loop.
This is the most common type of relapse and it is so nasty because it can make you relapse even if you are trying really hard to stay strong.
Then there is another kind of relapse..."The void relapse"
Then we have another kind of relapse that can be even nastier - and this kind of relapse is what I personally like to call “The void relapse”...
Now, both of these relapses can happen at any time on your journey, but the “void relapse” often happens between the days 15-40 (well, at least they did for me).
And the void relapse is simply “you just giving up” and “choosing to relapse” even though you know you shouldn’t...but you just don’t care.
Why does the void relapse happen?
The void relapse often happens because your mood is so low, and you are depressed or at least “semi-depressed”.
It’s a strange and awful feeling, really, and for me it almost always happens between day 20-30.
It is like you suddenly just don’t care and then you just choose to relapse without even being exposed to a trigger.
I mean, what the hell!?!
And what’s even worse, you didn’t even really have any urges.
The void porn relapse makes you feel like your own worst enemy...
These kinds of relapses are also very nasty because the day after they happen they make you feel like you are your own worst enemy...
...since it was YOU that chose to relapse, without any of those so-called normal cravings pushing towards it...and so, you destroyed your streak...
...oh man!
Here’s the deal...
I personally believe the “void relapse” happens because your dopamine levels are so low.
That fits in with the day 15-40 mark as well, as this is often when dopamine levels are at their lowest porn after quitting an addiction.
You are simply feeling some kind of weird void...like you have a black hole in your chest and nothing really matters anyway.
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So how do we stay away from the void relapses?
Well, here’s how I finally mastered the void relapse a few years ago...
When you are in that low state, feeling the void and you notice that you are soon about to choose to go down the road of porn, you have to go do something to break your state.
You have to do it!
Change your state with an action-based remedy...
Take a cold shower, go for a run, go to the gym!
Now, the problem is, at this moment, you are kind of depressed and that means that the last thing you feel like doing right then is taking a cold shower or going to the gym, so chances are you won’t do it.
So, just get out of the house and go for a walk!
Say to yourself, "I’m just going to go on a depressing slow walk...it won’t take much energy."
And so you go outside.
As you are walking the movement of your body, in combination with the change in your breathing pattern, will put you in a better state of mind. And while this alone might be enough for you to get out of the black void there is one more thing you have to do…
Picture yourself waking up tomorrow morning...
After you have been walking for about 15 minutes or so. You keep walking, but now you should also start thinking about tomorrow morning.
Think about how you will feel if you wake up tomorrow on day 1 instead of day 25.
Not good, right?
Keep thinking about that as you are walking and also remind yourself of all the reasons why you want to quit porn in the first place...
- To get rid of social anxiety?
- To be able to be attracted to real life girls again?
...or whatever your reason is, keep thinking about it as you are walking.
I recommend you keep walking for at least 45 minutes and when you get back home, you will be in a much better state of mind and chances are you will no longer feel like just giving in.
This is how you overcome the void relapse, but remember, you have to get your ass outside of your house immediately when you feel you are about to choose to descend into hell.
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