Should You Count Days on NoFap / When You Quit Porn? (Unexpected)
Counting days on NoFap!
Should you count days on NoFap?
Well in today’s video / blog post we will take a look at 3 different ways to keep track of your NoFap / quitting porn progress.
And I will of course also share my opinion on the different ways to keep track and whether I think it’s a good idea or not.
#1 The day counter
Ok, so let’s start with the most common way to keep track of your progress and that is of course to count the number of days since the last time you did it.
In other words, you count every single day and try to build up a long streak. Let’s say you're on day 52 today and perhaps you have set some goal you want to reach, like 90 days for example.
So, what’s my opinion, should you count days like this?
Don't put your day counter on a pedestal!
Well, to be honest, it doesn't really matter as long as you ONLY use the counter as a tool and don’t put it up on a pedestal.
So what do I mean by this?
Well, Look, when fapping a lot to online adult entertainment, the reward center in your brain gets desensitized, along with a few other brain changes.
Your brain recovery does not care about you numbers...
Now, the reward center in your brain doesn't care about the number of days on your counter.
No, It just does its healing, taking the time it needs. And as far as the healing goes, since we are all different that means that one person's day 70 can be another person's day 25.
So, when putting it like that you should start to realize that the numbers themselves do not mean that much and that’s just if we keep going without relapses.
When we put relapses into account the numbers become even more irrelevant.
Not all porn relapses are the same...
Look, say you’re on day 70 and you have a minor relapse, well now your brain has been healing for 70 days so do you really think that your brain goes…
...“Oh, he slipped a bit there, I’m resetting and putting my dopamine receptors back to zero!!!”...
No, of course it does not work like that.
Be proud of your previous streak.
Related post: Honor your NoFap streaks
I’m telling you this to drive home the point that everyone has a unique brain that heals in its one pace and on top of that every relapse is different since one relapse can be a 5 minute slip, while another relapse can be a 6 hour binge...
...so of course not all relapses put you back the same amount of days…
The number on your counter does not really tell you much at all...
When you consider all of this you start to realize that the number you see on your counter does not really tell you much at all.
This is what I mean when I say that it doesn’t matter whether you use a counter or not as long as you only use it as a tool.
Motivation increase from seeing the numbers go up...
Now, some people like to see the number on the counter go up day by day and it motivates them to keep going, to build up their streak and to break their own record and that’s all good.
That way you are using the counter as a tool.
That’s great, as long as you don’t put the number you see on the counter on a pedestal.
Ok, and speaking of relapses, we also need to talk about your personality type here.
A mental trap when counting days...
You see, many people fall into a mental trap when they relapse if they are using a counter. Ok so what do I mean by this?,
Well, say you are on day 45 aaand so you have a small relapse on Wednesday. Well, what happens then is that many people start thinking...
...“God damn I blew it, I have to reset!!! ''...
And this can be dangerous for some people because now they start to think, well, since I’m already on day zero I might as well relapse some more, I’ll start again on Monday!
And so now they are fapping their brains out on...
- Wednesday,
- Thursday,
- Friday,
- Saturday
- Sunday...
...and then they start building up a new streak on Monday.
"Starting fresh" is a destructive mindset...
This is so incredibly destructive because the first small relapse on Wednesday did probably not set you back that much at all, but after binging on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, well now they you are really back to zero.
If you do NOT respond to relapses like then by all means, use a day counter to track your progress, it’s a good tool for you.
But if the relapse binge I just described is something that is very familiar to you, you might want to consider another way of tracking your progress…
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#2 The spreadsheet
Ok, so if you have a tendency to get stuck in a binge cycle of hell whenever you break your streak, then you could try using a spreadsheet instead.
This means that you do not count the number of days since your last relapse, but instead you count the number of relapses you have in one month.
Whenever you relapse you just write down a Big fat “R” in your calendar.
Think, "progress"...
Ok great, so let’s say you had 7 relapses last month, well then obviously your goal should be to have less relapses the following month and so let’s say you managed to only relapse 4 times this month, well that’s progress...
...it really is!
Perhaps you can get it down to just 2 relapses the next month, and so on.
You get the picture!
Since you now are counting relapses per month, you won’t be so quick to binge for several days when you slip, because that would give you a higher number for that month.
It depends on your personality type...
So, as you can see, it depends on your personality type when it comes to what way you should keep track of your progress.
Now the last way is the most effective way since it will work deep down on your whole personality HOWEVER, it is also the most difficult one as it requires a big mindset shift.
And that is...
#3 Not counting or tracking at all
So now you say, “What?!?...how could that possibly be the most effective way, what the hell do you mean Bob?”
Well, listen, the most effective way to stop fapping is to view yourself as a person that just does not fap.
Look, if you really, I mean REALLY managed to see yourself as a person that does not fap, then you would not even feel a need to count your days or track your progress.
This is about your identity...
Let me ask you this, what day are you on when it comes to brushing your teeth?
Ahh, now you see where I’m getting at. Of course you don’t count the number of days you have been brushing your teeth bacause you naturally just view yourself as a person who takes care of his teeth.
The MOST effective way to quit fapping, with the most long term success rate when it comes to relapses, is to develop an image of yourself as a person who just doesn't do that kind of thing.
So why is this?
Well, listen, if you only remember one thing from this video, make sure it’s the following words…
”The strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves”
Say for example you are partying a lot and drinking a lot of alcohol and you want to quit..and the way you feel about that is something like...
...“l will quit drinking, but I really am a party animal, so it’s not going to be easy”
Well, I know it won’t take long until you relapse because you view yourself as a party animal...again...
...The strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves.
This means that your brain will automatically always steer you in the direction that is most in line with HOW you view yourself.
Sure, you might be able to use willpower for a couple of weeks, but that won’t last.
A GPS in your brain that steer you in the direction that are in line with your identity...
It is like you have a GPS and an autopilot in your brain, making sure that you take actions that are in line with how you define yourself.
So again, start practicing viewing yourself as a person who just does not fap.
For some people it takes a lot of time to be able to change how they view themselves and for others it can happen pretty quickly - and in order to not make this video too long, I will be back with another video where I share more tips on exactly how to change your self image.
Alright, this Scandinavian Bob signing out for today, consider subscribing for more helpful videos and as always I wish you all the best in your journey to become the strongest version of yourself, and remember, as W C used to say, “If you’re going through hell, keep going!”
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