Scandinavian Bob here Hi

Today we are going to talk about how just using 2 simple words could actually improve your life pretty significantly, if you start implementing them on a daily basis.

Let's get to it...

What to do when tempted to watch porn...

First I’d like to share a famous quote by Viktor Frankl, maybe you have heard it. If not, it’s about time, because it is phenomenal.

Here it is...

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Now, this can for example mean that when hit by a trigger, you always have a small window of opportunity to choose how you are going to respond.

Your space of freedom...

A few seconds of space.

And here’s the secret, once you become super aware of that space, and once you make that space your friend, oh man, people around you will start to look up to you for having such a strong character. 

Now, the problem is that it is not all that easy to be aware of when that space is there.

However, in today's video I’m going to share two words with you that will help you become more aware of it because remember, in that very space, you are the one sitting on all the power. 

Let’s refer to it as “the space of freedom” from now on.

Widen your space of freedom using 2 magic words....

Those two words are simply “Then what”.

Yeah, so let me explain here.

When you are hit by a craving, a stimulus or a thought you can use these words to make the space of freedom a few seconds longer and also to help you become aware of it in the first place. 

Let’ me give you a couple of examples...

Then what?

I have been out shopping and I’m tired and out of energy. On my way home I see a fast food restaurant. And I instantly get a craving telling me, “Hey, you can skip your gym training today, buy some junk food and instead go home and eat it while watching Simpson”...

Well, that's the stimuli and now it is so incredibly easy to miss the space of freedom here and follow the cravings.

But if I pretend that the stimulus is a person and I ask it “Then what?”, well then it has to answer, "Well, then you miss out on the good feeling you have after a gym session."

In fact then you will feel sluggish and kind of crappy while lying there on the sofa at night. Whereas if you skip the junk food and go to the gym, then you can relax on the sofa at the end of the day, feeling good about yourself, which is actually your favorite reward.  

With a wider space of freedom you increase your chances of control when tempted to watch porn (for example)...

So, you see how just using 2 words, makes the space between stimuli and response much more noticeable and even a bit broader.

You can even use it if your addiction voice is trying to trick you, because if you have followed my videos, by now you know that it really does try to trick you from time to time.

Let’s say you are addicted to online porn and your addiction voice is trying to fool you by saying: “Hey, psst, let’s check if there is any such and such category in the adult entertainment, you know not watch, but  just check if there is .”

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Awareness = success...

Well there’s your stimuli, and if you are not super aware right here, you probably won’t even notice the space of freedom and you go right ahead and check.

But what if you were to first ask “Then what? what happens after?”,

And so you get the answer, "Well then you obviously would find out that there indeed is such a category".

Because let’s face it, there is a category for pretty much anything, and so the odds of you relapsing is 99%, and even if there isn’t such a category you would still find something else on that page that is very triggering and... BAM!!!

There it is, your relapse is almost guaranteed.

By asking “Then what?”

It shifts your focus from temptation to watch porn to the consequences...

After every suggestion you are presented with, your space of freedom becomes bigger and clearer and that will prevent you from acting  impulsively as it instantly shifts your focus from the temptation to the consequences.

This was also how I managed to cut back on my drinking many years ago, since I was a bit too beer happy back then.

Using it for alcohol...

A stimuli could pop up from nowhere, telling me, "Hey remember that good feeling you get after 3 or 4 beers? Let’s get that feeling now!"

Now, if I had a few days off from work, this was something I often did when I was younger, I sometimes drank 3 beers or so even in the middle of the day.  

But then when the stimuli hit I started to ask “then what?”, 

And the answer was, "Well you get two hours of relaxation, but then the rest of your evening is ruined because you will feel slightly depressed, which I always do after drinking alcohol, and again you miss out on getting to sit on your sofa tonight, feeling proud of yourself for a good day's work, because nothing brings me more joy than sitting down in the sofa after a day that I have done a lot of progress on my goals and on myself."

It works for all kinds of temptations...

You can use this for almost anything.

Man...I don’t feel like going for a run today.

Then what?

Well then I don’t get that amazing feeling I always get when I’m done.

Oh, but I really want that feeling, let’s go anyway.

Man, I’m skipping my cold shower this morning.

Then what?

Then I miss out on the 5 hour good feeling I always get after a shower. Oh, but I really want that feeling, ok ok, let’s take the damn shower then.

Remember that your freedom lies in that 'magical space'...

And so on so start using these two simple words and see where they take you, because remember...

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Besides that guys, if you want to support my YouTube channel and help me be able to make these kinds of videos, you can always buy me a cup of coffee or two, you can find a link to that donation site under this video, and if you choose to buy me some coffee, thank you so much.

Alright this Scandinavian Bob signing out for today,

Thanks for reading!

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