Why Do I Keep Relapsing on NoFap? (Here's Your Solution)
Scandinavian Bob here, hi.
I just want to make a really short video / blog post, sharing something important about nofap.
I get so many emails from guys asking for advice, asking why do I keep relapsing on NoFap?
Now, because I want to give good advice and help them as much as I can, I always reply with a follow up question and ask, “what current strategies do you have for dealing with urges?”
You have no strategies for dealing with urges...
At least 90% of them reply with something like, “Ehh...I do not really have any strategies”...
Well, there you go!
There’s the biggest reason for why you keep relapsing on NoFap, right there!
"You have to have a plan on what to do when you are hit by cravings!"
Resisting the urges is a losing battle
For most people, resisting urges is a losing battle...
...and there’s a reason for that.
Here comes something really important, so listen carefully now.
Something that is backed by science and highly related to NoFap urges....
The ironic rebound effect...
There is this psychological phenomenon called “the ironic rebound effect”.
The ironic rebound effect simply means that, when you resist thoughts, emotions or cravings and you try to push them away, they will return after a while...
...but not only that, they will return with more power then before!
Yes, that’s the ironic rebound effect - and it's highly applicable to your NoFap urges.
Aimless browsing online...
Let’s say you are sitting there at your computer after your workday. You are pretty tired and you are just aimlessly browsing, watching a few videos, surfing a bit on Facebook.
And then you start to notice that 'craving voice' somewhere in the back of your head...
You push it away and keep browsing!
But it pops up again after a couple of minutes - and so you push it away again...and you just keep sitting there...on your computer, aimlessly browsing.
Well, guess what, this is a losing strategy!
Sure you might be able to stay strong for a couple of days, but if you keep doing this the relapse will inevitably come for you.
99% of guys who are doing this will keep relapsing again and again.
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You do not have the power to defeat the ironic rebound effect...
Most of us do not have the power to bend the ironic rebound effect.
You would have to have some kind of superhuman mental strength above and beyond this world in order to be able to do that.
This is why you have to have a strategy on exactly what to do when you notice urges. Now, there are hundreds of things you could try, and it’s up to you to make a plan. But I recommend a combination of these two things…
- Surfing the urges...
- Get away from your computer or your phone and do something else, in order to create a state change...
If you are familiar with meditation, you know what surfing the urges means.
"It means that you simply notice your cravings without judging them, without trying to push them away and without letting you get dragged along by them!"
Surf the urges - like a surfer surfs on a wave in the sea...
You simply surf on the feelings, like a surfer surfs on a wave, following the movement of the water.
Because remember, as the ironic rebound effect dictate; resisting them is a losing battle!
This alone will make you a better nofapper, but if the urges are persistent I still recommend that you also get away from the computer and go do something completely different.
Get away from all screens...
For example, go take a one minute cold shower!
Oh man, that will give you an instant state change, if anything will.
Or go do the Wim Hof breathing. Yeah, that one is easy to do and it will definitely change your state of mind.
Whatever you do, the key is to have a plan and then stick to your plan. It would also be very beneficial to rehearse your plan on a regular basis...
...even when your not having urges.
Just like a fire drill!
One thing is for sure, without a strategy you will fight a losing battle.
Just trust me on this.
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